Funny Surf jokes and surfing humor

Two surfers are at getting ready to paddle out: Surfer one: “Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!” Surfer two: “Great trade!!!!” Funny Surf jokes

4 guys are discussing how they get their wives to let them surf every Sunday morning. The first says “Every Saturday night I take my wife out to an expensive dinner”. The second says “Every Saturday I clean the house for my wife”. The third says “Every Saturday I let my wife go shopping and she can buy whatever she wants.” The fourth guy looks at the other three and just shakes his head. “You guys got it all wrong.” On Sunday morning I get up at 5:00am, shake my wife and say surfing or intercourse? Funny Surf jokes and surfing humor

Moondoggie and three of his surfing buddies have gone surfing every Saturday for nearly thirty years. One Saturday, the guys are surfing near a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Moondoggie lays down his pool, stands up on his board and places his hand over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down on his board and waits for the next wave. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of ‘em finally speaks up and says, “that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by.” Kent replied, “It seems the least I could do seeing as how I’ve been married to the woman for over thirty years!”

The best thing about surfing is that even though you’re scared enough to wet your pants, nobody notices.

Funny Surf jokes 

Reasons Why Surfboards Are Better Than the Opposite Sex…

Surfboards curves never sag.

Surfboards last longer.

Surfboards don’t get pregnant.

You can ride a Surfboards any time of the month.

Surfboards don’t have in-laws.

Surfboards don’t care about how many other surfboards you have ridden.

Surfboards don’t care about how many other surfboards you have.

Boats don’t mind if you look at other surfboards, or if you buy surfboard magazines.

If you say bad things to your surfboard, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.

You can ride a surfboard as long as you want and it won’t get sore.

Surfboards don’t care if you are late.

You don’t have to take a shower before riding your surfboard.

You can’t get diseases from a surfboard you don’t know very well.

Famous last words from Surfers

• What’s the worst that could happen?

• It doesn’t look that big.

• It’s a little big for a beginner, but you’ll do fine!

• You catch this one, I’ll be right behind you.

• So this is how tow in surfing is done!

• Let’s both go, this wave is big enough for two people!

• Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest!

• I’m a traditionalist, leashes are for wimps.

• You mean you replace your leash every year?

• Check this out, I’m gonna’ take off fins first!

• Let me have this wave, would you?  My girlfriend is watching from the beach.

• It’s safe to sleep in the beach; just like the old days.

Things You Always Wanted to Say to Another Surfer – Funny Surf jokes and surfing humor

• I want to send my condolences to your wife.  Every woman makes a mistake now and then.
• Thanks for wasting another wave. . . how many is that?
• Yes, you got 500 waves with your big board. . . now maybe you should try a turn or something.
• What were you thinking when you bought a board with five fins?
• I saw you kook-out on that last wave— I’m just pretending like I didn’t see it out of courtesy.

Why You’re Late Coming Home

• I tried to make it on time, but the interviews took longer than expected.

Before Paddling Out

• Please don’t let the reporters know I’m here.  I hate when they follow me around.
• Is that Matt Ambrose?  I’ve gotta’ move North, he’s always bugging me for advice.
• If I don’t come back, you can have my dog.
• Alert the media, I’ll be at the Pier.

When Going for the Impossible Wave

• Hey, watch this!
• Banzai!
• If I don’t make it, you can have my lawn mower!
• Why am I doing this?

After a Great Wipeout

• Damn, I hate it when the seals grab your leash.
• Please help me kill the witnesses.
• Is it your first day too?
• Did I at least get a 10 for artistic expression?
• I knew I shouldn’t have had group sex last night.

After a Good Wave

• Now that I’ve shown you how, its your turn.
• Please, no autographs in the line up.
• Must of fired some 20 year old neurons.
• Do you suppose I’ll be able to do that again in my lifetime?
• What happened there?
• Sure glad I had my Viagra last night.
• If someone got my picture, I’m quitting surfing while I’m ahead.

When the Surf is Horrible

• Let me ask you. . . Why?
• Is there a reason we’re out here?
• This is desperation surfing.
• Is it still considered surfing when you don’t catch any waves?
• You know, golf sounds pretty good right now.
• I left a wife and a warm bed for this?
• Just shoot me and get it over with.

When You Drop in On Your Bro’

• If you can’t drop in on your friends, who can you drop in on?
• That’s a payback for 1992 when you dropped in on me.

Please drop us a comment with your Funny Surf jokes and surfing humor…

Funny Surfing jokes and surf humor

So E.Y.D has changed with the fall season to a new look and feel for the moment. 

 You will find enlightened quotes, meditations, and philosophies from the great teachers of past and present. Along with Pop culture Zen from StumbleUpon, You tube, and other Social Media sites.

I hope you will enjoy my photo blog series:

Heart warming Winter quotes and photos

Enchanting Autumn incantations of sublime seasonal change

In the Lumbini grove, under the shade of a flowering Sal tree, The Buddha, founder of the philosophy of Buddhism was born. He was known as Siddhattha. (Siddhartha = one whose purpose has been achieved). This is my continuing series of Buddhist quotes from the Dhammapada.

The Dhammapada – the essential teachings of the Buddha

The Wisdom of the Buddha

Buddhist verses from Siddhartha – The enlightened one

“The reason why we are here, I call “The Personal Legend”. All my characters, somehow they have a reason to be here, and they have to struggle to find their place under the sun. Which they do…
…and of course they have to pay a high price.”  Paulo Coelho

Top Ten Paulo Coelho Videos on Youtube

My mantra is: To Strive for Love, To seek knowledge, To Find happiness, and Yield not to fear.  Inspired by my favorite poem Ulysses by Lord Alfred Tennyson.  “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

A philosophy in 25 words of less: inspired by Pete Carroll’s Win forever

Inspiring FNL Speech

A Zen Art Blog

The most commonly used phrase in Costa Rica is Pura Vida.

Everything in Costa Rica is Pura Vida!  The simple translation is Pura Life; but the saying has a far more profound meaning to people of Costa Rica, and the travelers who fall in love with this majestic country.

The first time I was explained the meaning of Pura Vida, I was enjoying dinner with one of my new friends Sage at Bruno’s restaurant in Tamarindo.  Sage lived in Costa Rica a couple months each year to teach surf lessons at Witch’s Rock Surf Camp; he spoke Spanish fluently and was familiar with the local customs and lingo. Sage, “Pura Vida was first explained to me like this”, ‘Only here for a short time, so spread some cheer; and then your gone’.  This ungrammatically correct sentence immediately struck a chord in my heart. The bank tellers, the restaurant servers, street vendors will all greet you with this saying; as well as say good-bye.  In my short stay, a month that flew by, I couldn’t hear or say this beautiful statement enough.  I was simply a Pura Vida addict.  Pure Life; how simple and wonderful of a statement to live by.

The all knowing wikipedia has the following translation.  Pura Vida (POO-rah VEE-dah), used by Costa Ricans since 1956, literally translated means “Pure Life.” Contextually, it means “Full of Life” “Purified life”, “This is living!”, “Going great!” It is used as a greeting, a farewell, and to express satisfaction. The phrase has become widely known in the USA and Europe. Some foreigners view the phrase as an expression of a leisurely lifestyle, of disregard for time and wanton friendliness. However, Costa Ricans use the phrase to express a philosophy of strong community, perseverance, good spirits, enjoying life slowly, celebrating good fortune, whether small or large.”

I was curious to find out the exact origins of the word, and I googled upon this article about it’s origin by Tony Cousins. “Indeed, the most credible origin of the word is that it developed from the interaction between the surfing pioneers of the mid 1950’s and the local Costa Ricans (or Ticos) they encountered. Whatever it’s beginnings there is no doubting that it has become part of the vernacular and Costa Ricans claim it to belong to pachuco, a slang or common speech somewhat removed from Spanish and very particular to Ticos. Used as a greeting, a goodbye, sometimes as an agreement, this versatile phrase, often shortened to a brief pura, signifies something deeper to Costa Ricans. It embodies a philosophy in which communal ties are strong and close; difficulties are overcome with a resilient and happy spirit, where life is enjoyed leisurely and to the full, and where fortune of whatever size is heartily celebrated.” http://www.costaricaholiday.co.uk/News/Pura.htm

If you have never been to Costa Rica, you may hear this statement, but you will never feel this statement: not until you’re relaxing on the beach watching the sunset and feeling content that everyone who walks by gives you the acknowledgement of a smile, nod, or a Pura Vida.  That is one little thing that I will always miss about Costa Rica, and may never understand about North America, the simple hello’s from people passing by.  We’re all here on this earth together as one human race.  So please spread some Pura Vida and cheer before you’re gone and bring some joy to the lives of others.  Even a simple hello can bring light to a gloomy soul.  One love and Pura Vida forever…

The definition and meaning of Pura Vida, the beautiful national expression of Costa Rica

A two minute Escape to Surfing beautiful beaches, hot bikinis and never ending parties from the road least traveled. This is Idream Now Travel Blog. Above, is what you can expect over the next month from my new Travel Blog. I tried to think of a creative way to explain my motivations for this trip and the reason why I picked Costa Rica. So, I dug up this little excerpt from one of my previous travel journals that explains my desires to surf from one town to the next in Costa Rica. I wrote this entry into one of my travel journal while in San Sebastian; a beautiful town in Northern Spain. I got lost, and happened to arrive at this surf competition and promo party.

The Surf Competition

(There is just something cool about surfing that I cannot really explain. I know that one day I will surf and be a beach bum. It is a way to become one with the Ocean and lose yourself in that majestic place. I got lost on my way today but ended up just where I needed to be. I always say, Fate, while traveling has a way of bringing you to the right place and time, so that you may savor a special moment.)

Surfing to be free…

(They wait in the water like a floating colony, hoping to catch the perfect wave where they lose themselves, only to become free. As they rip across the surf, for a brief moment their soul’s become alive. There is no longer any need to think, it is a time to just be. Be free from the world and all its stressful bull shit. Be alive, be content, be one with their soul. Someday just like them, I will surf to be just me, me who is free. “ )

Taken from Old JMH Travel Journal archives

Today, I purchased a new backpack for my trip to Costa Rica.  It’s light weight with track wheels, zip way harness strap, and a zip away day pack.  I love it.  For me the backpack is a universal symbol of freedom and exploration; a traveling colony of brave adventurers wishing to see first hand the different marvels of our world: indulging in the pursuit of pleasure and the adventure of the unknown.

Surfing to be Free: Surfing new enlightened vibrations