Archive for the 'surfing' Category
Two surfers are at getting ready to paddle out: Surfer one: “Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!” Surfer two: “Great trade!!!!” 4 guys are discussing how they get their wives to let them surf every Sunday morning. The first says “Every Saturday night I take my wife out to an expensive dinner”. The second says “Every Saturday I clean the house for my wife”. The third says “Every Saturday I let my wife go shopping and she can buy whatever she wants.” The fourth guy looks at the other three and just shakes his head. “You guys got it all wrong.” On Sunday morning I get up at 5:00am, shake my wife and say surfing or intercourse? Moondoggie and three of his surfing buddies have gone surfing every Saturday for nearly thirty years. One Saturday, the guys are surfing near a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Moondoggie lays down his pool, stands up on his board and places his hand over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down on his board and waits for the next wave. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of ‘em finally speaks up and says, “that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by.” Kent replied, “It seems the least I could do seeing as how I’ve been married to the woman for over thirty years!” The best thing about surfing is that even though you’re scared enough to wet your pants, nobody notices.
Reasons Why Surfboards Are Better Than the Opposite Sex…
Surfboards curves never sag.
Surfboards last longer.
Surfboards don’t get pregnant.
You can ride a Surfboards any time of the month.
Surfboards don’t have in-laws.
Surfboards don’t care about how many other surfboards you have ridden.
Surfboards don’t care about how many other surfboards you have.
Boats don’t mind if you look at other surfboards, or if you buy surfboard magazines.
If you say bad things to your surfboard, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a surfboard as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
Surfboards don’t care if you are late.
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your surfboard.
You can’t get diseases from a surfboard you don’t know very well.
Famous last words from Surfers
- What’s the worst that could happen?
- It doesn’t look that big.
- It’s a little big for a beginner, but you’ll do fine!
- You catch this one, I’ll be right behind you.
- So this is how tow in surfing is done!
- Let’s both go, this wave is big enough for two people!
- Let’s see who can hold their breath the longest!
- I’m a traditionalist, leashes are for wimps.
- You mean you replace your leash every year?
- Check this out, I’m gonna’ take off fins first!
- Let me have this wave, would you? My girlfriend is watching from the beach.
- It’s safe to sleep in the beach; just like the old days.
Things You Always Wanted to Say to Another Surfer
- I want to send my condolences to your wife. Every woman makes a mistake now and then.
- Thanks for wasting another wave. . . how many is that?
- Yes, you got 500 waves with your big board. . . now maybe you should try a turn or something.
- What were you thinking when you bought a board with five fins?
- I saw you kook-out on that last wave— I’m just pretending like I didn’t see it out of courtesy.
Why You’re Late Coming Home
- I tried to make it on time, but the interviews took longer than expected.
Before Paddling Out
- Please don’t let the reporters know I’m here. I hate when they follow me around.
- Is that Matt Ambrose? I’ve gotta’ move North, he’s always bugging me for advice.
- If I don’t come back, you can have my dog.
- Alert the media, I’ll be at the Pier.
When Going for the Impossible Wave
- Hey, watch this!
- Banzai!
- If I don’t make it, you can have my lawn mower!
- Why am I doing this?
After a Great Wipeout
- Damn, I hate it when the seals grab your leash.
- Please help me kill the witnesses.
- Is it your first day too?
- Did I at least get a 10 for artistic expression?
- I knew I shouldn’t have had group sex last night.
After a Good Wave
- Now that I’ve shown you how, its your turn.
- Please, no autographs in the line up.
- Must of fired some 20 year old neurons.
- Do you suppose I’ll be able to do that again in my lifetime?
- What happened there?
- Sure glad I had my Viagra last night.
- If someone got my picture, I’m quitting surfing while I’m ahead.
When the Surf is Horrible
- Let me ask you. . . Why?
- Is there a reason we’re out here?
- This is desperation surfing.
- Is it still considered surfing when you don’t catch any waves?
- You know, golf sounds pretty good right now.
- I left a wife and a warm bed for this?
- Just shoot me and get it over with.
When You Drop in On Your Bro’
- If you can’t drop in on your friends, who can you drop in on?
- That’s a payback for 1992 when you dropped in on me.
http://www.surfhumor.com/One%20Liners.htm
http://www.isurfing.com/surfing_jokes_surfer_humor.html
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Tags: , dream, funniest, funny, hilarious, humor, joke, jokes, joking, laugh, laughing, laughter, now, surf, surfer, surfer lingo, surfing, wave riding
The following is what I wrote in my moleskin journal right after my second surf lesson. Once you turn in and actually ride the wave before the break, words can’t describe the true feeling of complete awe inspiring Zen; this can only give you an idea of how I felt.
“Today was AMAZING! I felt the rush of the waves breaking my mind wide open. There is only the present moment in the Ocean; no room for the past or future. All your attention and energy is completely focused. Your senses become alive with the moment. The constant sun warms your skin, the salt removing all the bitter tastes that resided there before: the Ocean testing you with each push, each step, and each paddle forward. And when it finally happens, you pop up and feel at one with the wave; it’s spectacular; it’s grandiose; it’s pure Zen. The mind ceases and the soul begins.”
Although my first surf lesson at Witch’s Rock Surf Camp was amazing, I decided to go with La Botella de Leche Surf School for my second go at it. I heard through the grapevine that Wences, the instructor, was a local legend who could teach you three weeks of surfing in a single day. Wences is known for his magical ability read the incoming waves, a skill that takes years to perfect, getting you right in the sweet spot. This is of course one of the hardest part of surfing; a knowledge only a true Guru can hope to obtain. By the end of our first lesson, I was getting up almost every time, turning in and riding the wave all the way in. The highly recommended Botella de Leche Surf school in Tamarindo which is located in from of the 70’s Surf Shop right on the main drag.
Wences was a true Guru in every sense of the word: a couple of times, I actually saw him get up on the board and ride it right into and over the oncoming waves; a true genius. With every attempt, he would give me little pointers about holding the board in position until my feet were set, getting lower, keeping my arms out for balance, etc. Little by little I got better each time; building more confidence with each wave. Surfing lessons are a must in my opinion. I laughed at all those stubborn people who had too much pride and wanted to learn on their own without any direction. I would see them fail again and again, because they had no idea what they were doing wrong. I found my lesson both inspiring and informative. I don’t think I would have enjoyed surfing as much without some concrete lessons, because it’s all about getting up and actually riding the waves; not being pulled and stretched every which way in the backwash.
Pura Vida Forever…
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Tags: , 70s surf shop, amazing, awe, backwash, break, costa rica, feeling, guru, inspire, inspiring, knowledge, la botella de leche, lessons, mind, ocean, present moment, rush, soul, spectacular, sun, surf, surf school, surfing, tamarindo, teacher, waves, wences, zen
Sometimes I feel like the luckiest man alive. As if some mystical force has chosen me the lucky one amongst all the others. There is a Swedish proverb that says, “Luck never gives; it only lends”. Well, it has been lending me my whole life and the accumulated balance seems astonishing to some; unbelievable to others. I will attribute my first surf lesson to just such an experience: I must thank you Fortuna, Goddess of luck, for your continued blessings. There were a number of different names on the board for surf instructors at the Witches Rock Surf Camp in Tamarindo Costa Rica. I chose Julie for my first lesson. So as I sat in the lobby waiting and anticipating a great day of surfing, this unbelievably hot 18 year old French Goddess walked up to me at said, “Jonathan”. I could barely erase the huge smile that broadened my face. I simply just stared into her eyes with disbelief. Was this actually my surf instructor for the day? “So are you ready for a great day of surf”, she asked. I responded with a definite, “YES, I am”. When it comes to describing the true beauty of a woman; I’m often at a loss. No real words can ever put an accurate description into the readers head. Not any of mine at least. Trying to think of a reason why I feel this way, all that I am able come up with is the following: no piece of art, sunset, picture or anything else on earth has me finding the beauty I see in the opposite sex. So may different shapes, colors, expressions all magnificently amalgamated by god to form each a different, yet perfect, expression of beauty. As she grabbed her board and strutted down to the beach in front of me, wearing the sexiest Brazilian bikini possible (or skimpiest, my brain being on sensory overload it was HARD to tell), I was in complete AWE. I feel the need to attempt the impossible here: such sooth skin permeating a perfectly tanned voluptuous body that would make Jessica Alba jealous. Her long dirty blond hair blowing ever so gently in the wind as the muscular jiggle in her butt bounced side to side. Peaking at my curiosity, there was not a tan line to be scene anywhere, her flat stomach leading to her hour glass shaped hips that could make time stand still. She quickly glanced back with a perfect ten smile indicating; yes I know! Her eyes were filled with Charisma and the striking features of her face leading to young round sun kissed cheeks. A French goddess of perfection that would have any man swoon and quickly give away all the fortune for just one moment in time with her rapped in his arms. So there I was, desperately trying to focus on her instructions while fearing looking like a fool trying to get up on my board for the first time. She would dive into the oncoming waves that were trying as hard as my imagination to strip away those two little pieces of cloth separating temptation from heaven. I could and would like to go on forever about this picture perfect being; but I shall stop the incessant rambling there and continue with my story. Being a natural athlete and accomplished snowboarder, my initial attempts had the Ocean taking my pride away with the high tide. Its no easy thing to learn to surf, a completely different balance is needed on the open water. Eventually, I would get up and stand upon the wave with the surf breaking behind me as Zen filled present being. Crouching down in your stance, the body and mind are overwhelmed with sensations causing the mind to halt and the soul to begin. The sun began to set and leave an orange glow upon the face of the Ocean. I sat up on my board and simply marveled at the experience of it all. She could see, with a sense of pride, the feeling of joy I was experiencing; for I was in the moment of the Now. I moment I wish would’ve lasted forever. I was a surfer for the first time, a dream was checked off by my heart; this wonderful moment would never be forgotten. Yes, it was that absolutely breathtaking. Pura Vida forever! P.S. I took over 800 pictures in my month in Costa Rica. This story was the only one that escaped without being photographed; perhaps for the better. For my imagination will always hold a photo of this day tightly ingrained in my consciousness.
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The most commonly used phrase in Costa Rica is Pura Vida. Everything in Costa Rica is Pura Vida! The simple translation is Pura Life; but the saying has a far more profound meaning to people of Costa Rica, and the travelers who fall in love with this majestic country.
The first time I was explained the meaning of Pura Vida, I was enjoying dinner with one of my new friends Sage at Bruno’s restaurant in Tamarindo. Sage lived in Costa Rica a couple months each year to teach surf lessons at Witch’s Rock Surf Camp; he spoke Spanish fluently and was familiar with the local customs and lingo. Sage, “Pura Vida was first explained to me like this”, ‘Only here for a short time, so spread some cheer; and then your gone’. This ungrammatically correct sentence immediately struck a chord in my heart. The bank tellers, the restaurant servers, street vendors will all greet you with this saying; as well as say good-bye. In my short stay, a month that flew by, I couldn’t hear or say this beautiful statement enough. I was simply a Pura Vida addict. Pure Life; how simple and wonderful of a statement to live by. The all knowing wikipedia has the following translation. Pura Vida (POO-rah VEE-dah), used by Costa Ricans since 1956, literally translated means “Pure Life.” Contextually, it means “Full of Life” “Purified life”, “This is living!”, “Going great!” It is used as a greeting, a farewell, and to express satisfaction. The phrase has become widely known in the USA and Europe. Some foreigners view the phrase as an expression of a leisurely lifestyle, of disregard for time and wanton friendliness. However, Costa Ricans use the phrase to express a philosophy of strong community, perseverance, good spirits, enjoying life slowly, celebrating good fortune, whether small or large. Origins of the word ‘Pura Vida’ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_Costa_Rica I was curious to find out the exact origins of the word, and I googled upon this article about it’s origin by Tony Cousins. “Indeed, the most credible origin of the word is that it developed from the interaction between the surfing pioneers of the mid 1950’s and the local Costa Ricans (or Ticos) they encountered. Whatever it’s beginnings there is no doubting that it has become part of the vernacular and Costa Ricans claim it to belong to pachuco, a slang or common speech somewhat removed from Spanish and very particular to Ticos. Used as a greeting, a goodbye, sometimes as an agreement, this versatile phrase, often shortened to a brief pura, signifies something deeper to Costa Ricans. It embodies a philosophy in which communal ties are strong and close; difficulties are overcome with a resilient and happy spirit, where life is enjoyed leisurely and to the full, and where fortune of whatever size is heartily celebrated.” http://www.costaricaholiday.co.uk/News/Pura.htm If you have never been to Costa Rica, you may hear this statement, but you will never feel this statement: not until you’re relaxing on the beach watching the sunset and feeling content that everyone who walks by gives you the acknowledgement of a smile, nod, or a Pura Vida. That is one little thing that I will always miss about Costa Rica, and may never understand about North America, the simple hello’s from people passing by. We’re all here on this earth together as one human race. So please spread some Pura Vida and cheer before you’re gone and bring some joy to the lives of others. Even a simple hello can bring light to a gloomy soul. One love and Pura Vida forever…
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The beauty of Tamarindo beach is remarkable. Never have I been to a beach as soft, soothing and desolate as the one I found in Tamarindo: perfect for beach lovers, surfers, sun-worshipers, and practitioners of the art of doing nothing. A short walk left or right and you can stake a claim to your own private beach with no one to bother you or invade your tranquil privacy. Read, sunbath, or relax under the clear blue sky while listening to the rhythmic sound of the waves before you. This long stretch of warn sand awakens the peace in every admirers soul. The oceans temperature is just warm enough to be overwhelmingly refreshing. The waves during high tide are considered to be perfect for first time surfers and intermediate wave riders. For this reason alone, Tamarindo was my first stop in Costa Rica . I wanted to learn to surf somewhere special that was considered to be one of the best spots in the world for a first time surfer. Anyone will tell you learning to surfing is not as easy as it looks; it’s not easy at all. But when that magic moment arrives when you get up and drop in before a breaking wave; a feeling of absolute exhilaration explodes within you. A moment when thought and time cease; and the enlightened now will begin: a moment of pure perfect and eye opening wonder. Pura Vida forever…
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Tags: , beach, beach lovers, best spots, blog, costa rica, desolate, dream, enlighten, enlightenment, exhilaration, first time surfer, forever, I, inspiration, magic, moment, now, ocean, pristine, Pura Vida, pure perfection, riders, sand, sunbath, surfer, surfing, tamarindo, travel, travel blogs, wave, waves
A two minute Escape to Surfing beautiful beaches, hot bikinis and never ending parties from the road least traveled. This is Idream Now Travel Blog. Above, is what you can expect over the next month from my new Travel Blog. I tried to think of a creative way to explain my motivations for this trip and the reason why I picked Costa Rica. So, I dug up this little excerpt from one of my previous travel journals that explains my desires to surf from one town to the next in Costa Rica. I wrote this entry into one of my travel journal while in San Sebastian; a beautiful town in Northern Spain. I got lost, and happened to arrive at this surf competition and promo party.
The Surf Competition
(There is just something cool about surfing that I cannot really explain. I know that one day I will surf and be a beach bum. It is a way to become one with the Ocean and lose yourself in that majestic place. I got lost on my way today but ended up just where I needed to be. I always say, Fate, while traveling has a way of bringing you to the right place and time, so that you may savor a special moment.)
Surfing to be free…
(They wait in the water like a floating colony, hoping to catch the perfect wave where they lose themselves, only to become free. As they rip across the surf, for a brief moment their soul’s become alive. There is no longer any need to think, it is a time to just be. Be free from the world and all its stressful bull shit. Be alive, be content, be one with their soul. Someday just like them, I will surf to be just me, me who is free. “ )
Taken from Old JMH Travel Journal archives
Today, I purchased a new backpack for my trip to Costa Rica. It’s light weight with track wheels, zip way harness strap, and a zip away day pack. I love it. For me the backpack is a universal symbol of freedom and exploration; a traveling colony of brave adventurers wishing to see first hand the different marvels of our world: indulging in the pursuit of pleasure and the adventure of the unknown.
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Tags: , backpacking, blog, blogs, costa rica, dreams, enlightened, Idream, inspiration, now, quotes, road least traveled, travel blog, Traveling, zen
